Just by being willing to ask, you can get a raise, a donation, a room with an ocean view, a discount, a free sample, a date, a better assignment, the order, a more convenient delivery date, an extension, time off, or help with the housework.

How To Ask For What You Want

There's a specific science to asking for and getting what you want or need in life, and Mark Victor Hanson and Jack Canfield wrote a whole book on it which I recommend you read – The Aladdin Factor. Here are some tips from the book to get you started:

1. Ask as if you expect to get it. Ask with a positive expectation. Ask from the place that you have already been given it. It's a done deal. Ask as if you expect to get a yes.

2. Assume you can. Don't start with the assumption that you can't get it. If you are going to assume, assume you can get an upgrade. Assume you can get a table by the window.  Assume that you can return it without a sales slip. Assume that you can get a scholarship, that you can get a raise, that you can get tickets at this late date. Don't ever assume against yourself.

3. Ask someone who can give it to you. Qualify the person. "Who would I have to speak to to get. .." "Who is authorized to make a decision about. .." "What would have to happen for me to get ..."

4. Be clear and specific. Jack Canfield says that in seminars he asks, "Who wants more money?" He picks someone who raises a hand, and he gives that person a dollar. He says, "You now have more money. Are you satisfied?

The person usually says, "No, I want more than that."
So he gives the person a couple of quarters, and ask, "Is that enough for you?"
"No, I want more than that."
"Well, just how much do you want? We could play this game of` more' for days and never get to what you want."

The person usually gives him a specific number, and then he points out how important it is to be specific. Vague requests produce vague results. Your requests need to be specific. When it comes to money, you need to ask for a specific amount.

Don't say: I want a raise.
Do say:  I want a raise of $500 a month.

When it comes to a behavioural request, be specific. Say exactly what you want the person to do.

Don't say: I want more help around the house.
Do say:  I want you to wash the dishes every night after dinner and take out the garbage Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights.

5. Ask repeatedly. One of the most important principles of success is persistence, not giving up. Whenever you're asking others to participate in the fulfilment of your goals, some people are going to say no. They ray have other priorities, commitments, and reasons not to participate. It's not a reflection on you. just get used to the idea that there's going to be a lot of rejection along the way to the brass ring. The key is not to give up. When someone says no, you keep on asking. Why? Because when you keep on asking, even the same person again and again, you might get a yes ...

On a different day
When the person is in a better mood
When you have new data to present
After you've proven your commitment to them
When circumstances have changed
When you've learned how to close better
When you've established better rapport
When the person trusts you more
When you have paid your dues
When the economy is better

Kids understand this success principle perhaps better than anyone. They will ask the same person for the same thing over and over again without any hesitation. They eventually wear you down.

Maybe it’s time to become a kid again!